When I work with teams or individual clients I will always look to ascertain, what it is they want from the results they achieve? It is important for us to have goals, ambitions, objectives, direction etc. It is quite common that clients will be trying to gather momentum to move forward whilst focusing on the pas.! Working with a coach, or a friend to gain a perspective on where you are NOW is invaluable in your quest for movement towards something different.
When discussing with a client where they are now quite often they will express their concern at the reasons for their position. Generally they will give me all of the reasons why it is not their fault, or it is because of …, if they didn’t do this I wouldn’t do that, I can’t complete this because they haven’t done that. There are many circumstances that may have a contribution to the current situation but there is one thing that is certain about the situation, only one person can choose to change it, and that is YOU!
ARE YOU A PASSENGER?If you live your life convinced that the actions of one person or another, this or that, them or us, the Boss or your colleagues or pretty much anyone else other than yourself are totally responsible for your outcomes or results then you are a passenger in your own lifestyle! This, for some, may be a difficult concept to grasp, how can it be my fault that the Boss chooses to blame me for everything? How can it be my fault that the washing has to be done again because it has rained on it? How can it be my fault that the man at the roundabout drove into the back of me?
The answer is, it may or may not be your fault in all instances, but how you react to this situation is most definitely down to you. You can choose to be the victim and seek sympathy from those around you because the Boss gives you a hard time or you can speak with your Boss and ask the question, “For what purpose are you focusing your attention on me?”. By the very nature of asking the question, you have completed a number of things. You now appreciate where you are, you have made the first step towards propelling yourself into movement to somewhere else and you are showing yourself and maybe those around you that you are prepared to deal with the situation, you are no longer a Passenger!
Drive The Bus – Choose The Route – Decide on the PassengersOnce you have chosen to take to the Drivers Seat on your Bus journey you can choose the route you want to take. Those around you can choose to come with you if they like or they can go their own way. You are now in charge of your bus and you have every right to choose who you decide to take on your journey and how far you would like them to go, on your bus.
Your Boss can still choose to ride his own journey on his own bus, he may or may not have passengers on his bus, his route may or may not have been pre-determined by the company or another driver somewhere else, but that is all fine, because he has the exact same choice as you do. He may choose to drive his own bus but take the same route as you and explore the odd detour as he goes! The variables in this scenario are endless.
DRIVER OR PASSENGER – YOUR CHOICE?A very simple Metaphor, and you are right there will be things that happen in your life that are less than positive for you at the time, but to be blunt, this is a fact of life. We cannot control, and neither would I want to, the journey that someone else chooses. Occasionally there may be events, either by other people, animals, natural phenomena or the environment that I allow to upset me. It is what happens next that is important.
I can allow this external event to go on effecting me and influencing me and the decisions I make, become a victim at the mercy of something else or I could be the cause of what happens next, how is this going to work for me? What can I do to make things better for me? What can I choose to do to become a winner?
To conclude here are a few tips you may wish to consider:-